Simplifying Sentences to Spare the Reader’s Brain

Avoid the “Where Was I?” sentence

Have you ever set off to get something from the kitchen, then been distracted by some other thought? You arrive in the kitchen and suddenly think, “What was I looking for here?”

It’s frustrating.

You might retrace your steps, returning to the starting point so you can remember what you wanted.

Nobody enjoys that experience. Yet, as writers, we often inflict something similar on our readers

The “where was I?” sentence

A sentence might start by introducing the subject, then throw in extra bits of insight or qualifying information before coming to the verb. These might include:

• Clauses, sometimes bounded by commas, that expand on the content of sentence
• Parenthetical asides (like this one) that offer commentary
• Thoughts linked with semicolons or em-dashes-the signal for informal interjections-that eventually resolve at the end of the sentence.

There’s nothing wrong with these stylistic practices. They often reflect the nuanced nature of our thoughts or message. They definitely project an educated tone, if the grammar works.

But pile them together and the writing gets pretty dense. These wandering sentences require the reader to juggle different mental images in working memory. The reader needs to hold the concept from the beginning of the sentence, power through the interceding ideas, and connect them at the end.

Metaphorically, they are setting off for the kitchen at the start of the sentence. Will they remember what they were doing when they reach the end?

More common than you may realize

Here’s a fun test: When you’re reading a nonfiction book or article, make a note every time you have to double back through a sentence. Put a pencil check mark in the margin.

You may double back more than you realized, or at least stop to check yourself and remember where you started.

We don’t always notice this behavior as we read. It’s subtle. We might feel fatigue or boredom…